Happened to Humble....

I wish I knew what I am actually going through... its a strange feeling and sort of hard to express... I had been declared the second teen of India a couple of weeks ago, I won the Newsmakers award from the "Times of India", got selected into the top ten teams for the "Team Inquizitive" bible quiz and to top it all my lecturers at college now think I can make it really big in life escpecially in the field of education. All this, I'm sure sounds like heaven but people believe it or not I really don't know why I feel so dry about whats hapenning...



I got selected for this Pageant " THE TEEN OF THE YEAR". The very statements sounds cool isn't it?.The Zonals for Andhra were held at Vijaywada. It all went on as expected.It was not just good but great. I mean I really loved every bit of it.I was so proud of myself that I was one of just the two representing Andhra for the finals...teen pride you know. Somewhere in me I thought I was going to win or even more than 'thought' I was sort of sure I would win. I remember telling all this to my friend on the phone. Call my feeling overconfidence or pride or whatever you wish to call it but I'm honest in telling you this is what I actually felt.

The Grand finale was held at Mumbai. We had to stay there with the other 17 finalists from all over India for three whole days( 7th to 9th of November 08). Sounded exciting...



Finally I reached Mumbai, was welcomed like a celebrity, filled in the talent which I was going to perform on the finale and walked up to my room. I was the last but third kid to check into the home. I lived on the fourth floor. There were around 8 rooms on that floor and each room could comfortably accomodate two participants.

All the kids out there were mindblowing! I'm serious they were really too good. There was this guy Mudit who got all the forest department officials to plant tress in the whole of his area when he was in 5th grade and Malhar was another wizkid, Aastha was a perfect blend of wisdom, knowledge and love, Prakruthi was an inborn rockstar, Manjyot, Rhimjhim, Aarzoo, Mahima, Susan, Manan, Nikitha, Rupa and Anuja all of them were really amazing. I found it tough to position myself you know... I did not really know where in this whole lot I would stand. They were talented enough to remove that feeling of winning from every blood cell of mine.There was talent all around me and I was going to be judged.

Strange no. I came in so confident and this was what happenned on the very first day. Sort of depressing.... I literally wept when ever I went into the washroom( I need guts to cry out in public).

But the people there were the best things I ever got in life. The participants were not like co- competetors all of us were friends and friends from every sense of that very word. We even helped each other improve our performances for the talent round, all of us got together to make a mix of our expertise for the pageant anthem, we were that 'gel- well' sort of kids and I suppose this was what brought me back from depression. We had such intelligent folks coming up to take sessions for us and Alika Narain was one of them. She rocks!. I loved every bit of the sessions and had lots to learn...We even did a bit of site seeing.



Now came the finale. Purab Kohli ( Channel V VJ and Rock on actor (K.D) ) was our chief guest,Pearl d'souza the worls most stunning lady was the emcee, and I was one of the performer. It all began with the traditional lighting the lamp, and then came our pageant anthem, all our effort in experimenting with music and dance and voice was clearly shown through the anthem.

The talent round began. I was the third contestant.... My turn had come... I was playing this western classical piece on the piano and also sang a farewell song. As the piece ended when I started to sing I had goosebomps all over me. I just could'nt believe it was my voice. I sounded fabulous and the applauds that followed my performance... I surely was on top of the world. After all of us finished performing came the second most critical state of the pageant. THE ELIMINATION round. Our of all 17 of us just 5 would be selected while the others go and join the crowd.... these were moments of ultimate tension... you never know what happens but something must happen and it all happened. I was into the top five. I rejoiced from deep within but I did feel sad for all the others.. I mean 'What if I had been in their place?'.

We were asked questions by the judges and I had hard luck. I was the only kid who got a man to question me. And you know how technical men are in questioning and if out of all men it is Mukhil De gupte( Founder director of make- a -wish foundation). When I heard Anuja answer her question and compared it to mine I knew I lost it. It was all crystal clear.And I knew no power on earth could change all that was happening because I felt it was all over.



Now time came for the announcements. I was not really excited. Sometimes being that intelligent to predict the future kills excitement you see. And all that was announced was an exact replica of what I thought.

Though I knew what would happen and what happened was true I found it difficult to digest the very fact. I called my dad and told him all this. He was elated and so was my family. I really did not know why I said this but I told my dad " Pappa my trophy is just one INCH shorter than that of the teen of the year".Maybe that was pride in me which could not be killed even after losing the title and all the glory that comes with it. I call it 'Pride immortal'.My Mom clearly instructed me to hold the trophy in my hand because it was made of glass and it took the shape of flames. I gave a deaf ear to all that she said. I checked in my bag with the trophy at the airport and you know how they handle luggage and they did the same with mine too.

I arrived at Hyderabad that very night. My parents were out there waiting for me. My uncle who works for Indian Airlines came in to pick me and everthing was as usual. We had our dinner at the airport and left.

When I reached home the first thing everyone wanted to see was my trophy. I opened my bag and you know what I found three pieces of glass...... pathetic... my trophy was broken... each leaf of the flame was out and the support was another piece... How I wish I had just obeyed my mom.

I could'nt even sleep... imagine how I must have felt.. I did not even cry. It was that bad... all that I could feel was space nothing better than that.



Next day at college was just dull, all these days I was doing things that were better than studies and now back at Narayana I felt so wierd. I came back home and took my trophy to the glassware store and you know what the first thing he told me was that he could repair it but it would be an INCH shorter than what it is. Now this was really specific.

I got back home and just opened my chemistry notes and the first thing my eye caught site of was this quote. " I feel like coming over a strange disease-Humility'. Believe me I did not know where to go hide. Now I realized why I felt so dry about the most exciting thing on earth for kids my age. I had this element of pride in every nerve of my body. from the beggining till the very end it was just that, it was the reason behind the pathetic state of my trophy, the reason for me to consider only myself as the best, the reason for not making it to the top. Man! it was the truth I had to accept it. But it was tough to believe all this happened just for me to be humble.

Yes this thing humility is a strange disease, I now feel its coming over me. It's a terrible feeling but it can take you places ahead. Its something really different and unusual... strange but true, not wanted but most necessary. Im so glad its working on me.

This is what one big event could teach me. I know for sure I missed being the teen of the year I feel like crying even while I'm writing this, but I've learnt a way of life-Humility, and I suppose no title could ever suffice this virtue.

Love it and Live it ppl!